


What Time Changes

by CaptainParisStarr



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ann and Ryuji have a daughter, Bottom!Ryuji, M/M, Top!Yusuke, adult au, past Ryuji/Ann
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:18:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15141932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainParisStarr/pseuds/CaptainParisStarr
Summary: Yusuke hadn't seen Ryuji since his friend married Ann and moved to France so she could model internationally. When Ryuji calls him out of the blue saying he was back in Tokyo, Yusuke invites him to his home not suspecting that Ryuji could be the model he was in desperate need of to finish a piece that was troubling him.





	What Time Changes

Yusuke sighed as he gazed at the almost complete sketch. A rare commissioned piece, he was expecting to earn enough to pay the rent on his pricey studio apartment for another month, if he ever managed to finish the final part of the drawing.

 

Since graduating from Kosei High, he had sporadically taken classes at a prestigious universities art department, but found that he could not afford to attend full time.

 

To earn extra cash on the side, he had started doing commissioned portraits out of his own home, but this current piece was unlike his usual work in two major ways.

 

First off, the portrait was of a fabricated, idealized man, not of his client. Secondly, it was erotic in nature, with the shirt hanging open to frame rather than cover the mans chest and his pants were open exposing his...

 

There was nothing but blank space where his genitalia should be hanging, with exaggerated size and hardness.

 

Exaggerating wasn't Yusuke's problem however; whenever he tried to sketch male genitalia from photographs or videos he found outline, the results were unsatisfactory to say the least. And while he had attempted to use his own as a reference point but the angle he was viewing at, even when he looked at himself in the mirror, was all wrong.

 

What he needed was a proper model, but all the young men he had previously used had turned him down simply because his request had included touching. Just looking wasn't enough, he needed someone willing to allow him to handle them, feel them up so to speak, to give him a proper grasp on the matter he was attempting to portray.

 

Images of a long suppressed memory rose in his mind, of his hand wrapped around a shaft not his own, as another hand stroked his. Quiet moans and soft kisses in a darkened room, with a close friend, a boy who was by all outward appearances straight.

 

That had been Yusuke's first and last sexual encounter; sex just got in the way of his pursuit of beauty, and love complicated his life.

 

As he pushed the memory away again, his phone vibrated, the screen lit with the name of the boy he had just been thinking about; Ryuji Sakamoto.

 

“Hello?” Yusuke's hand shook slightly as he answered the call, yet his voice was cool as always.

 

“Hey, Yusuke? I know its been a while but I'm back in Tokyo for a while and I thought that maybe you'd like to catch up? Maybe get some dinner tonight or something?”

 

Yusuke was quiet for a long moment; since the Phantom Thieves had disbanded everyone had drifted apart, and it had been almost five years since Yusuke had last seen Ryuji.

 

Since Ryuji had married Ann Takamaki and had moved with her to Paris so she could be an international model.

 

The last Yusuke had heard, they were happy together with a little girl on the way.

 

“I was unaware you were planning to return to Japan.” Yusuke finally spoke just as the silence was dragging on a hair to long.

 

“I wasn't but... Look I don't want to talk about this over the phone. Is there somewhere I can meet up with you?”

 

Something in Ryuji's voice caught Yusuke's attention; was it sadness? Despair? Grief? Yusuke didn't know; even so it was clear that Ryuji wasn't just calling to catch up because he was back in town.

 

“Yes; I have some work to do today however I am amenable to having you visit my home if that is agreeable to you?” Yusuke all but held his breath as he waited for Ryuji's response.

 

“Yeah okay. Are you hungry? I'll grab some food on my way over. What's your address?”

 

As Yusuke recited the street and number of the studio flat he has lived in almost since leaving high school; somehow he always managed to scrape together enough rent or, in times of dire need, find a tenant for the second bedroom he primarily used for storage when vacant; he felt a strange thrill go through him.

 

To his surprise, Ryuji was able to read it back to him perfectly without any need of verification or correction. “I'm in Shibuya, I can be there in less than an hour. Are burgers okay?”  
  


“Buy whatever food you wish to, I am no longer the starving student you recall. Anything will be fine with me.”

 

“Okay. I'll see you in an hour.” As Yusuke listened to the click that meant Ryuji had ended the call he wondered if Ryuji had changed as much as he himself had.

 

 

 

 

Ryuji's heart pounded as he mounted the steps, take out bag from Big Bang Burger in one hand and the scrap of paper with the scribbled address Yusuke had given him in the other.

 

He knew that Yusuke had to have changed; God alone knew how much Ryuji had; but even so the posh building Ryuji was looking up at didn't seem at all like a place Yusuke could afford to live in.

 

Half expecting to find that he had the wrong building, he punched in the code that would buzz Yusuke's unit.

 

No reply but the buzzing of the main door unlocking, and no indication of whether or not he had the right building but it was too late to turn back now.

 

However when he reached the unit itself, Yusuke was waiting for him. “You stopped bleaching your hair.”

 

“Yeah, well, I got tired of having it blond.” Reaching up, he pushed a dark strand out of his eyes. “And you grew yours out.”

 

Yusuke simply nodded as he turned around, revealing that his ponytail reached his waist, and reentered his home ahead of Ryuji. “What brings you back to Tokyo?”

 

Ryuji followed, toeing off his shoes in silence. Then, just as Yusuke figured that Ryuji wasn't going to answer he muttered; “Ann and I split. We're getting divorced.”

 

“Your child...?”

 

“Marie has nothing to do with this. She's three, she doesn't understand, but I'm still allowed to call her and visit and shit but we agreed that she would live in France with Ann.” Ryuji's knuckles turned white from gripping his own arms so tight.

 

“Ryuji please, sit.” Yusuke led him to the one couch he had left uncovered, where he typically had his models sit to pose for him. “Tell me.”

 

“There isn't much to tell really.” Ryuji sank down onto the couch as his legs gave out from under him. “I just can't keep lying to myself; I love Ann, I really do but I'm not actually straight. It was easy to pretend that I was in high school but lately I... I might have kinda cheated on Ann with a guy.”

 

Yusuke silently dropped down onto his couch beside Ryuji, close enough to touch but not quite daring to. “You cheated on Ann?”

 

“Yeah well, sorta. We were at a fancy party last month and I couldn't keep my eyes off of the husband of one of Ann's business friends and well, we were both drinking and then we were alone in the bathroom kissing when Ann caught us. I don't know what else would have happened if she hadn't walked in but she did and now I...” Ryuji's voice broke as he began to softly cry.

 

“Was it just him?”

 

Ryuji somehow managed to nod yes and shake his head no at the same time. “I was looking at several other guys but he was the only one I had any physical contact with.”

 

Yusuke's hand covered most of Ryuji's when he squeezed it gently to offer comfort. “Was there a fight?”

 

“No, and that's the worst part. I would have known how to handle her anger but she... she just calmly told me that we needed to divorce, that she couldn't live with a gay husband any longer. Apparently she had known for a long time; she even knew about us and I never told her.” Ryuji's brown eyes asked the question his lips refused to form, but Yusuke shook his head no.

 

“I never spoke to Ann about you in that context. Why would I when you started dating her so soon afterwards?” It had been barely two weeks after having Yusuke in his bed that Ryuji had publicly asked Ann out, and she had accepted.

 

“Yusuke, I never asked... I didn't want to know but... Did I hurt you?” Ryuji shifted closer. “Ann thinks that I did, that I broke your heart or something because you withdrew from the group when I started dating her.”

 

“Does it matter?” Yusuke looked down at their linked hands. All the pain he had felt when Ryuji had refused to acknowledge the kisses shared in the dark came flooding back to him.

 

“Yeah, it does.”

 

“Then, yes.” Yusuke stood without another word and left the room to head into his kitchen.

 

“Yes?!” Ryuji hurried after the tall artist. “What do you mean yes?!”

 

“Ryuji, I was in love with you. When you let me into your bed that night I thought that you wanted more than just a physical release. I was wrong and you refused to so much as talk to me afterwards. I was devastated.” Yusuke's eyes were narrowed when he turned to look back at his former friend, and Ryuji noticed for the first time that he was wearing black eyeliner.

 

“Yusuke, I was scared. I wanted so much from you; more than I thought you wanted to give me. You weren't giving me any signs that you wanted to date anyone; I was surprised that you let me have even that much.” Ryuji wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I wasn't in love with you; at least I don't think I was, but...” He shook his head as he laughed bitterly.

 

“Would you have let yourself feel it if you had been in love with me?” Yusuke had only just bit the words out as scathingly as he could when he felt strong arms encircle his waist from behind.

 

“No, but please just let me hold you for a moment. You aren't seeing anyone right now, right? So this is okay?” A damp cheek was pressed against Yusuke's right shoulder-blade but he couldn't feel any fresh tears.

 

Almost against his will, Yusuke felt himself melt into the unexpected embrace. “No I am not seeing anyone.” His hands gripped Ryuji's, the touch almost but not quite possessive. “Why did you touch me back then if you didn't desire a relationship with me?”

 

“I wanted to.” Yusuke felt Ryuji turn his face into his shoulder, felt his lips press into him in a way that was almost but not quite a kiss. “I was always looking at you and I was curious about your body but scared too. When I found you outside in the rain that day with no way home I thought it was fate. Even so I wasn't planning to do anything with you until I saw you in just that damn towel after you had showered and I realized that the spare futon had been put away damp and was all mildewed. My heart had been pounding so hard as I offered to share my futon with you; I still don't know how you didn't hear it. And then hands were everywhere but it was dark so my fear just kinda evaporated and it felt so good.”

 

“But the fear returned in the light of dawn when we woke up with limbs entangled.”

 

“Yeah. So I told you to forget what had happened. I didn't even consider how you felt, or how forcing you to act like nothing had happened would make you feel. I was just so scared and actin' on impulse like I always did in those days.” Ryuji felt silent again, and Yusuke felt like he finally understood why Ryuji was here in his home after years of little to no contact between them.

 

“Ryuji, have you been fully intimate with another man yet?”

 

“No.”

 

“So you do want me to finish what we started that night.”

 

Ryuji pulled away so fast that he stumbled over his own feet and would have fallen had Yusuke not caught him. “Yusuke no! I mean yeah I do wanna try being with you but that's not what I'm here for.”

 

“It's not?”

 

Ryuji shook his head no. “I wanna be with _you._ Like date you and shit. Not just physically but emotionally as well. I wanna make up for hurting you all those years ago.”

 

Yusuke's eyes widened. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah, I am. Being with Ann was the biggest mistake of my life; the only part I don't regret is Marie; I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. But even so I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't have been happier if I had just asked you out like I had wanted to that morning when I had woken up to find you naked in my bed. Honestly I have never seen another sight as beautiful as the sight of you sleeping on my chest in the light of dawn. It took all of my self control to not take you then and there.”

 

“Take me?” Yusuke stilled; was Ryuji referring to sexual intercourse?

 

“Yeah, I wanted to fuck you.” Ryuji sighed as he looked away. “But you had shied away from my hands every time I tried to touch your ass, even just the cheeks, so I knew you didn't want that, and I'm not the type of man, then or now, who could force himself on someone else.”

 

“Ryuji I have never...!” Yusuke realized what he was about to say and broke off, his cheeks flaming hotly.

 

“Never? But you were with that model for a long time and everyone speculated on who was the bottom. What was his name again?”

 

“How do you know about Shigeru Meiou?”

 

“It was all over the news; a hot, young superstar model and actor dating anyone would make the news, but when its a male artist well...” Ryuji broke off, not needing to finish his sentence for Yusuke remembered the news articles well, many of which had portrayed the homosexual nature of the relationship in a negative light.

 

“I didn't know that was known internationally.”

 

“It wasn't exactly but Ann has several Japanese newspaper subscriptions.” Ryuji turned to look back at Yusuke. “I need to ask you something and please I won't judge you I just need to know; are you asexual?”

 

“What?” Out of all the questions he had been expecting Ryuji to ask, that one wasn't even a consideration.

 

“Well, you never seemed like you wanted sex or a sexual relationship, even though you were clearly interested in romance. And just now you said that you've never had sex, even though you were dating Shigeru for three years; you even lived with him for a while.”

 

“If I was ace, would I have allowed you to touch me sexually?”

 

“Maybe. I mean being ace doesn't mean that you can't want sex with the right person.” Ryuji broke off.

 

“No, I am not asexual; you are not the first person to question me on that. I will admit to having a low sex drive; however I am gay not ace. It was Shigeru who was ace.”

 

“Oh!”

 

“We would kiss for the cameras and imply a sexual relationship where none existed to save his reputation but we were never sexually intimate because it was never something he desired.”

 

“Did you desire it?”

 

“Yes.” Yusuke turned away, indicating that the subject was closed.

 

“Why did you end things with him?”

 

“His agent wished to relocate him to Los Angeles, and I desired to remain in Tokyo.”

 

“And there was no one since him?”

 

“A few dates, but nothing serious.” Yusuke set down the mug he had gotten out of the cupboard with the intention of making Ryuji a cup of herbal tea, fighting with himself. “I have never gone beyond kissing anyone after that night.”

 

“Why not? I mean I get why with Shigeru, but you had to have other lovers, right?”

 

“I am not harbouring lingering feelings of romantic love for you and yet... I was scared of opening myself up to further hurt. What you did left deep scars on me; I did not desire to be loved and abandoned a second time, and only with Shigeru did I develop a deep mutual connection that allowed me to let go of the fear.”

 

“But he wasn't interested. Oh, Yusuke... I'm sorry! I know that just saying that can't change anything but I have to say it. I'm sorry I hurt you.” This time when Ryuji wrapped his arms around Yusuke, it was face to face, his arms around Yusuke's neck and shoulders, chests pressed softly together.

 

Yusuke's eyes fluttered closed as velvet-soft lips pressed against his own, parting with a small sigh as he let Ryuji kiss him. Then the pressure was gone, even as the arms holding him tightened their grip. “Please, just hold me.”

 

“Do you have a place to stay? How long are you back in the country for?” Yusuke's fingers threaded their way through short dark hair as he spoke, his voice soft with suppressed emotion.

 

“I'm staying in a hotel right now until I find an apartment. I already have a job lined up though; something that will do more good, and make up for my past, better than my last job. I don't even know anymore why I got into advertising, except that it was a high-paying career that I could use to work with Ann. Now that I'm not with her anymore, it just feels empty, pointless. I need to do something good with my life, like back when I was a Phantom Thief. So when I saw that Shujin was looking for a new PE teacher, I applied for it without even having to think about it.”

 

“Isn't that the job Kamoshida held?”

 

“Yeah, and guess what? I got it. Some of my old teachers still work there; Hiruta, Chouno, even Kawakami, and they all put in a good word for me. They like it when alumni return to work there, even though I never went to college to be a teacher. It will be hard work, but if I can inspire even one class of students to be better than they are, I can make up for all the bullshit I put the track team through with Kamoshida.” Ryuji kissed Yusuke's cheek before pulling away again.

 

“Ryuji stay with me.”

 

“What?” Ryuji turned to look at Yusuke in surprise.

 

“I have a spare room, and I find myself in need of a roommate.”

 

“Oh, yeah I did think this place looked too expensive for you to be able to easily afford on your own. Are you sure though?”

 

“Yes I am.” Only a faint blush dusting across Yusuke's cheeks implied that he wanted more from Ryuji than assistance with paying his bills. “Live with me as my lover.”

 

“Lover?!” Ryuji's eyes widened.

 

“Did you not ask me out several minutes ago?”

 

“Well, yeah but... Isn't this rushing things?”

 

“I am not asking you to sleep in my bed. We can progress our relationship as slowly or quickly as you desire.”

 

Slowly, Ryuji nodded. “Yeah, okay.” His eyes roved the apartment he would soon be living in rather than looking at the man who still desired him after all those years apart. “Yusuke, what's this?” His feet carried him almost unconsciously towards the half-finished portrait.

 

“That? It's nothing.” Yusuke winced at the blatant lie, and yet he found himself unwilling to confess his own problems to Ryuji.

 

“No, it isn't nothing.” Ryuji spoke slowly, his eyes alternately studying the drawing and Yusuke's face.

 

“I was commissioned to make that and yet I find myself unable to complete it.”

 

“You can't draw a dick?” Ryuji raised one eyebrow as he looked at Yusuke, challenging him to say no, he could easily draw one.

 

“Drawing genitalia realistically is more difficult than you might think. I find myself in need of a model who will allow me to be hands on, and yet am unable to find one, though that is no concern of yours.”

 

“Hands on?”

 

“Yes. I have tried to draw from online videos but I find myself unable to accurately portray what I am seeing. I need to get a better... grasp on the subject matter to...” He broke off, unable to meet Ryuji's eyes as he finally admitted to someone else just how virginal he still was.

 

“Let me model for you.”

 

“You?”

 

“Yes, me.” Ryuji's hands pulled at his belt as Yusuke watched, dumbfounded.

 

“Why are you offering to do this?” Yusuke looked away as Ryuji shoved down his pants and boxers, not ready to actually see what he had touched in the dark that night.

 

“Because you're my friend.” Ryuji bit his lip as he shook his head. “No, because I need to feel your hands on me again. I have spent so many lonely nights when Marie was asleep and Ann was in London for shoots touching myself to pictures I found online of you and Shigeru. It was never him I looked at though.” A strong hand grasped Yusuke's chin, forcing him to look at Ryuji. “I want you so badly it hurts, and I don't just mean physically so please, touch me. Use me as a model and finish that damn piece, I don't care so long as you touch me!”

 

This time when their lips met it was Yusuke who initiated the kiss as he pushed Ryuji down onto the couch, climbing on top of him as he lay back, his legs spread to allow Yusuke's hips to settle in between his thighs. Only then did Yusuke allow his eyes to caress what Ryuji had exposed to him.

 

“You shave?”

 

“Yeah; it looks better that way. Cleaner.” Soft fingertips caressed his tip before ghosting down his shaft to the silky smooth balls. Then he pulled off of Ryuji, fully aware that his own pants were tented and yet he felt no desire to relieve his discomfort as he positioned Ryuji.

 

“Stay like that.” His pencil danced across the page as he finally finished the portrait, each minute detail as perfect as his model, marvelling at how easy it was to draw Ryuji.

 

“Can I see?” Ryuji had remained silent and perfectly still, aside from involuntary twitching as Yusuke's eyes roved over him repeatedly.

 

Yusuke turned his work towards Ryuji.

 

“Wow...!”

 

“I can finally call and say that the portrait is done.” But instead of grabbing his cellphone, Yusuke set the portrait aside again, unzipping his own pants. “Do you still desire to penetrate me?”

 

“No, well not unless you want me to. Lately, its been my own ass I fantasize about being fucked.” He must have seen the surprise in Yusuke's eyes for he quickly added; “Hey, it feels good to finger myself and I've used a dildo on myself and made myself cum so I'm sure your dick will feel good inside me.”

 

“Ryuji, I am relieved; I have no desire to bottom.” This time the kisses were heated and insistent, all tongue and rough bites as Yusuke's long-suppressed sexuality was finally allowed free reign. Not wishing to take the time to undress, he pulled his dick out of his briefs and hoisted Ryuji's left leg high enough to slip a hand between his cheeks.

 

“Yusuke wait!” Yusuke froze at the panic in the other man's voice; had he misread the situation and gone too far?

 

“Yes, Ryuji?”

 

“We need lube! It will just hurt both of us if we fuck without it.”

 

“Oh.” The tension melted out of Yusuke. “Yes, of course. I have some in my bedroom.”

 

“Are you gonna go get the lube?” Ryuji playfully pushed at Yusuke a few minutes later when he still showed no signs of wanting to do anything but make out.

 

“Right.” Yusuke stood up on legs that shook with the effort, his lips red and swollen from the almost brutal kisses. “Follow me.” He headed up the stairs to the loft overlooking the main floor studio, where the two bedrooms were located.

 

Ryuji hurried after him, shedding the rest of his clothing along the way to be collected later.

 

“Lie down on the bed.” Yusuke dug around in a drawer for a moment before emerging with not only the lube, but an unopened box of condoms, which he tossed into the trash with a sigh. “Expired.”

 

“Just wash your dick afterwards and it will be fine. I'm clean.” Ryuji lay down on his stomach, a stack of hastily grabbed pillows under his hips to raise his ass, his legs spread.

 

The first touch of lube-slicked fingers had him relaxing, his legs shifting even further apart. “You're really soft back here.”

 

“I never said I only used the dildo once.” Ryuji spoke softly, but Yusuke heard the confession clearly.

 

“How long have you desired me like this?”

 

“Since um... since before we kissed for the first time. If you had asked I woulda let you fuck me back then.”

 

“I didn't know.” The fingers delved deeper into Ryuji's unresisting body.

 

“Yusuke, that's enough if you keep fingering me I won't last...” The words were panted out as Ryuji was more turned on than he had ever been before.

 

Yusuke didn't need to say anything as he removed his hand, slicking the remaining lube over his hard shaft and rubbing the head over Ryuji's relaxed opening. It sank in easily, like a sharp knife through soft butter. “Let me know if it hurts.”

 

“Nah, feels good.” Ryuji moaned softly as the rest of the length slid home, and Yusuke began to thrust his hips in a clumsy rhythm that betrayed his inexperience and yet Ryuji didn't mind.

 

“Have you done this before?” Yusuke paused to adjust his legs; Ryuji was far too relaxed for this to be his first time.

 

“I've never taken a dick, but I got Ann to use a strap-on on me several times. She was actually pretty into it, and the both that strap-on and my dildo are bigger than you so I knew it wouldn't hurt.”

 

“How much larger?”

 

As though he sensed Yusuke's sudden insecurity, Ryuji twisted around to look his lover in the eye. “Maybe half an inch, if that. Just a little bigger. Don't worry though, you feel better than those toys ever did. Keep going.”

 

Somehow without planning it, they came at the same time, without Ryuji's dick having been touched once.

 

 

 

 

“Are you sure you don't want me to come with you when you drop that off?” Ryuji groaned as he set down the last box; he had been in Tokyo for a full week before he had gotten the courage to call Yusuke up and the rest of his things had arrived by express air mail the following morning. Yusuke had put off delivering the finished drawing to aid Ryuji in moving properly into the apartment they had shared for less than a full day.

 

“No, the drawing is a composite piece; there is no need for him to meet any of the individual models.” Yusuke turned towards Ryuji, as though debating whether or not to say anything more when Ryuji's phone rang, the screen lit with Ann's name. “You should answer that.”

 

“Yeah; I wonder what she wants? Hello?”

 

But the voice on the other end wasn't Ann's. “Daddy, when are you coming home?”

 

“Marie, honey, I... I don't know.” As Ryuji turned away, trying to explain the concept of divorce to a three-year-old, Yusuke removed a single item from one of the boxes he had helped Ryuji haul into the apartment; a framed photo of him holding a newborn baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Setting the frame on the mantle of his fake fireplace, he removed a picture of him with his ex, and, knowing that Ryuji would notice the switch without his assistance, he left to make his delivery.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Marie's surname is Sakamoto, though Ann decided against changing her name even after getting married. I chose a French name for the girl for two reasons; 1) she was born in France and 2) I could see Ann wanting to give her daughter a non-Japanese name since Ann itself isn't a traditionally Japanese name. Ryuji had no say in what his daughters name would be.


End file.
